So yesterday I made jokes about being alone in the woods in WV, ready for some Midnight Picnic action. As my husband and I are fond of saying, “nothing’s funny.” This morning I went up to enjoy the view from the 2nd floor window only to discover a man standing super still about 20+ yards away, facing the back of the cabin, smoking. He shifted a few steps to the side, and that’s when I noticed he was carrying a long gun pointed to the ground (I don’t know the diff between a shotgun and rifle). This is one of the few occasions when the addition of a gun makes me feel better; dude was a hunter/poacher and not some spooky creep.
The dogs, by the way, were oblivious to the trespasser. I went down stairs and planted myself in front of the glass doors, but the guy still didn’t see me, intent as he was on surveying the sloping, wooded strip of land between this cabin and the next. Finally, I took drastic measures. I cranked up the XM radio (Roxy Music’s “More Than This”) and opened the porch slider very noisily. Plus I coughed like you do when you’re embarrassed for someone else. That got his attention, and he carefully made his retreat, picking his way over the rocks and disappearing back down the steep mountainside. Good thing too, because my next volley would have been brutal. I was going to yell, “Hey, you look scary out there! Go away now.”